51 Stars

Last night, a terrible thought struck me. "If Puerto Rico becomes a state, how will we adjust the stars in the US flag so that there is symmetry in their placement?" I know, I know--it's the same kind of thing *everybody* thinks about. I grabbed a legal pad that I keep on my desk, and here is what I came up with. Keep in mind that 51 is a difficult number to deal with. Currently, the stars are arranged in alternating rows of 5 and 6 stars (or columns of 4 and 5 stars) to add up to 50. Here is what I came up with: If you line them up *diagonally* rather than horizontally or vertically, starting in the bottom left corner and ending in the upper right corner, you can do it with seven lines (or "rows"), each with the following numbers of stars: 4, 6, 9, 13, 9, 6, 4. The row of 13 of course would reach from the upper left corner to the bottom right corner. It's not perfect, since the row lengths do not increase consistently, but the increase of the *increase* is at least consistent; we increase by 2, then 3, then 4, then decrease by 4, then 3, then 2.

A Google image search revealed that others have already thought through this problem with better results.

Resolutions from Today (and technically I mean yesterday since it is 2:36 AM)

1. No more dark chocolate. Unlike tea, which I tend to drink at more responsible hours, I make terrible mistakes eating dark chocolate in the evening, and find myself restless and awake late into the night (and the following morning).

2. No more soy. Because soy is bad for you, and I have an autoimmune disease. Actually, the only source of soy that I am currently aware of in my diet is the dark chocolate I eat, which includes soy lecithin.

3. The $5,000 kickstarter campaign for my album is worth a try, even though the odds are stacked against me. But what is most important is that, one way or another, I finish this album.

4. Narrowing the subject matter of the album to 1961-1968 may be a good idea. That's the main storyline that compelled me from the beginning, and most of the album's best material is focused on that period. This also makes a more normal-length album (instead of a 2-disc) more appropriate than it would have been if I'd covered all of 1953-1974.

5. Don't spend any money. You don't need that thing. You definitely don't need it.

The Principle of Ownership, Part 2 - Forthrightness

A few months ago, I feverishly scribed a 2-paragraph statement which elaborated on something I called "The Principle of Ownership", then snapped a picture of it and posted it on this blog.

One year ago, I wrote an entry called "My One Resolution", which I believe was posted on my other blog, "Reality of Christ", and in which I described my felt need to be more forthright with people in various situations. I made it my lone "resolution" for 2012.

Well, various thoughts have been blossoming in my mind which are continuations of both of these principles.

1. One thing we must take ownership of, if we are to be honest men, is our conversation. What I mean is, we must take ownership of our own thoughts, feelings, and preferences, and state them as our own, rather than passive-aggressively making them out to be lifeless responses to what somebody else said. Do you want out of a crappy dating relationship? Consider saying, "I want out of this crappy dating relationship", rather than, "You obviously don't love me anymore," "You're a great friend", "I just don't think I can handle a relationship right now," or something else.

2. The whole process of being forthright is a lifelong endeavor. None of us is made of steel; all of us are growing in the process of fearing God rather than men. So we must grow in courage. But we also must grow in wisdom. The thrust of honesty is wonderfully simple, but there are complex situations that come up. Simply put, there are some things that don't need to be said right away, and some of our feelings need to be evaluated privately before we throw them in somebody's face. There have been times this year when I was offended by something somebody said and took it the wrong way. I had thoughts of speaking in a very plain and confrontational all-or-nothing manner. But the voice of sensibility inside my head told me that, as much as I could not understand why this person would say this, there was a good chance I was either taking it the wrong way, or taking it way too far. I cooled down, deferred my reaction, and was able to handle these situations in a much more constructive way. It's a good thing, because would I have been honest if I had spoken my mind? Yes, but not beneficial to anybody, in fact possibly devastating a person here, ending a friendship there. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29, ESV

3. Being forthright doesn't heal all wounds. Even if I tell my friend Billy he was wrong to tell all my friends that I eat worms in the backyard and it makes me trust him less as a friend, I will still be hurt that Billy would do this, and that people were so quick to believe him. I will lay in bed at night, thinking, "Do I really act like a guy who would eat worms? Is it my beard? Am I too quiet? When I'm quiet, do people think I'm plotting my next worm feast? I genuinely hate worms. This is all not fair and I hate this world."

More personal:

4. My neurotic tendencies, fears, and hangups are my own burden and nobody else's.

5. As an INTP, my most difficult thing to deal with is when people have sudden and emotional reactions, because I find this dangerous and not helpful. I imagine they are just as alarmed by my heady approach to life. I don't even know how to *begin* in a situation like that. I am detached in almost all situations, and even feel detached when the other person carries on and ascribes to me certain emotions that I do not actually feel. I find that seeking to explain myself in such situations is not helpful, because it is seen as some kind of emotional response, when in fact it is not. What I generally do is, "slowly back away", because the harder I try to seek clarity with the person, the worse the situation gets. Perhaps what is needed is, "Jim, I'm actually not offended at what you said; I think you've misunderstood what I'm telling you. The giant banana was chasing me in that dream, and I killed it with an umbrella toothpick, and I was not telling this story as a parable for your failed business venture, but as a humorous anecdote." I guess that's the best thing to do.

Advice for the NYC-bound

Recently a dear friend of mine asked me if I had any advice for her; she is expecting to move to NYC within a year. Here's what I told her:
-----------------------------------------------------
Dearest Ashley,

New York City is an amazing place to live. These adjectives come to mind:

Stimulating
Addictive
Devastating
Lonely
Social
Varied
Scenic
Boring
Exciting
Rude
Romantic

Now, I know some of those will sound contradictory, and they are. It's a place of conflicted experiences. Whatever happens, you will never forget it.

Some people have positive experiences, and some people have negative experiences. Some of that has to do with whether a person is a homebody, and whether they are cut out for city life. Since you are drawn to it, odds are you are cut out for it, though there will be an adjustment period. Some of it has to do with a person's disposition, but some of it has to do with some specific factors.

So, my dear little sister, this is what I have for you:

1. Find a good church. I know you haven't been going to church, but Ashley, I guarantee you that you will find no better opportunity to meet interesting people who actually care that you will thrive, than in a good Christian church. And that is perhaps the single most important aspect to having a positive experience in NYC. For two reasons: (1) NYC life is lonely life, and this way you will be connected, and (2) You'll meet more people this way, and the more people you meet, the better. Somebody will have a rooftop apartment in Brooklyn and you'll watch the July 4th fireworks with an amazing view of the whole city. Somebody will be living the life you want to live (maybe they're a photographer) and potentially have connections for you, and/or advice. And some people, you'll just plain love and be so glad to have them in your life.

2. Better to be somewhat poor in the pursuit of your dream, than somewhat stable in a life-sucking, dead-end job. But those are two extremes, both of which you'll hopefully be able to avoid.

3. Be safe. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Best to have somebody with you if walking the streets at night. Depends on the area. You'll figure it out, though. Most areas are quite safe.

4. Travel light. You won't have a lot of space.

The Principle of Ownership

My life as an INTP

A post like this seems long overdue. Some may say I am "obsessed" with the Myers-Briggs personality types, but I'm no more obsessed with this, than anything else that grabs my attention. I'll provide a link at the bottom (if I remember) to a site where you can take the test for free.

INTP stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. This means simply that I am an introvert who takes in information my intuition, makes decisions based on logic rather than feelings, and am an improviser by nature. Here's a photo of me improvising from back in December 2008:

www.personalitypage.com refers to INTP's as "The Thinkers" and another website that I cannot remember used the title "The Architects". Here are some quotes about INTP's (the bold introductions are mine):

Crazy about knowledge: They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

Walking contradiction: INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

Oddball geniuses: The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

In relationships: Although they choose to keep things straight-forward in their relationships, this does not mean that the INTP is lacking in depth of feeling or passion. The INTP is very creative person, who has vivid imaginations. They can be very excitable and passionate about their love relationships. Sometimes, they have a problem reconciling the exciting visions of their internal worlds with the actuality of their external circumstances. http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP_rel.html

I've taken a major interest in this for years now. I can often guess people's MBTI after getting to know them a little while--that and their birth order. While I believe a Christian's identity is found in their belonging to Christ, I do find tests like these to be useful, as a sort of "secondary clarifier". Being somebody who has "unconventional thought patterns" provides a lot of moments of misunderstanding, some of them very frustrating--which I admit pulls me back towards *this* stuff, trying to better understand myself and others.

And that's not a cowardly retreat from life--that's simply how an INTP relates to the world. 

Now to get on with it, here is a series of observations:

1. If God is infinite in all of His attributes, and we as humans are created in His image, and different genders (male and female) display different *aspects* of the image of God, it seems logical to further suggest that this is true not only of genders, but to at least some extent also of personality types--that different personalities display certain attributes of God in higher degrees.

2. If different personalities display different attributes of God in higher degrees, we should value and respect others for their uniqueness, because so long as they are in submission to God and obedience to Scripture, they are displaying something sacred--the image of God--in the way they think, feel, make decisions, socialize, plan, celebrate, and grieve. It's important to remember this when somebody is very different from us.

3. My greatest aspirations are not quantifiable. There's a lot of stuff I want to do--but I don't really want to "be" anything. I long to teach and preach, not for recognition but because of the truths that precede me, and my desire that those truths be known more widely, and more clearly. As that same page explains:

Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

That's me. I once told a pastor I was more interested in preaching than in some of the other pastoral responsibilities. He misunderstood me--he thought, that I felt, that I was a good "communicator". What that makes me picture is a slick young guy in a headset who walks on the stage with his Bible and says to himself, "I GOT this". Now, I am a pretty fair judge of my own strengths and weaknesses, and anybody who's heard me preach would generally agree that I am a very effective communicator. But I am not motivated by a desire to "be" that--I am motivated by the Gospel itself, and by the words of Scripture, and a conviction that those words matter greatly. Church programs inspire me about as much as government programs inspire Ron Paul. Big productions to me are "big compensation" for the Holy Spirit not moving--a man-made replacement that creates church busy-ness in the place of wild, untamed transformation. Francis Chan's teaching on this resonates with me a lot.

4. One lovely habit of mine is to isolate myself and then say, "Where'd everybody go?" As time goes on I am learning to fight this by being disciplined in my handful of close friendships...making sure we're staying in touch and so on. Most of my regrets have to do with not maximizing past relationships...like being more of a mentor to younger students when I was an upperclassman at MACU, etc.

5. My unique thought patterns have been a source of bewilderment, aggravation, and inspiration to others. This is not at all done on purpose--as some studies of the brain can tell you, I'm literally wired this way--the American Journal of Psychology published a a study of brain scans revealing different chemistry and bloodflow in introverts and extraverts, for example.

8 Practical Ways a Young Man Can Embrace Biblical Manhood

These will be short and to-the-point. I wish somebody had explicitly directed me this way when I was a new Christian as age 16-17-18. These are adapted from a discussion I led at camp last summer.

1. Be industrious. Do your best to keep a neat room (not my strong suit by any stretch of the imagination). Keep up with your chores around the house. Get the best grades you can (within reason--don't make an idol out of grades), perhaps even learn a trade (lots of high schools offer programs to learn a trade). Or take your skill/passion and start being really dedicated and disciplined to it--be it music, painting, working with wood, writing, history, etc. This is actually one of the ways you should channel the sexual energy God has placed in you--if you want to be a husband, you're going to have to provide financially, which means you're going to have to do something people will pay you to do.

2. Get a holy ambition. Give your heart solely to the Lord and see what burden He places on you for the benefit of His glory, and His church. Figure out why you are on this planet! Take a nice, long, LONG walk if you have to. Or crack open a notebook and start writing. This is not necessarily about a career--though it will definitely affect your career, and it may lead you to a specific career, such as medicine, preaching, counseling, etc.

3. Seek mentors. Seek out godly men from your church or elsewhere--Christian men who can assist you in your walk with the Lord. I have a few. Some simply became that, and some I specifically asked for mentoring.

4. Be pure in your relationships with girls. So easy to type out, but a huge challenge to live out! Not sure what this will mean? Perhaps you should talk to your mentor (see #3). Also you should really listen to this message here http://media.sermonindex.net/23/SID23114.mp3 it's way better than this little post of mine. It's from Paul Washer, and it's called "A Young Man's Attitude Towards Women". So important. Another subject I wish I had been given explicit advice on when I was younger.

5. Cultivate an attraction to genuine womanhood. Not sure what genuine womanhood is? Glad you asked. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon focuses on this in chapter 31--he tells his son what kind of woman to look for. So crack open Proverbs 31 and think about the women you've known who have exemplified these qualities. Admire these qualities more than physical beauty. It will take discipline--be careful what you put before your eyes.

6. Submit to authority.

7. Learn the Bible. Spend lots of time in it! Have a hunger for it. Ask God for a hunger for it.

8. Be a man of prayer. I'm preaching to myself here...but one thing I have found helpful is keeping a list of people and situations requiring prayer. It's a good way to help me spend more time with the Lord in prayer, and lift up peoples' burdens.

A great promise from Jesus

Being a keen observer of human nature, and having read on this particular subject, and being in the midst of my own continual struggle in this matter, I can pinpoint four of the key needs men have, in order to be properly strengthened and/or healed. I am talking about spiritual needs, toward God. In an ideal home situation, the boy grows up experiencing these modeled in his own family, especially by his father. In the worst case scenario, the boy grows up learning the *opposite* of these (My dad doesn't enjoy quality time with me, I am not loved, I am not accepted, I can't do anything right, etc.) and coming to Christ he has to relearn the truth about these directly from his heavenly Father, though hopefully with some of this made manifest by older men in his church family. But it should also be said that even growing up in a godly home, there is always some brokenness. Anyway, here are the four needs:

1. The Father's presence. This one is upsetting for me as I think back on a mostly great Biblical education that did, on the other hand, often de-emphasize (and sometimes even demonize) the reality of the *experienced* presence of God. Yet this is a basic need. Those who ignore it only damage themselves and those around them, and have perhaps trained themselves to ignore a major theme of the Bible as they do their daily reading. Who wouldn't want to experience the presence of God!?
2. The Father's love. That is, we were created to be *delighted in* by God; to know we bring Him joy, to know He would want to spend time with us, to know that we matter to Him.
3. To be fruitful. All men desire to be productive, which is no surprise, as this was also a creation mandate.
4. The Father's commendation. This is very important also--that God not only delights in us, but also in our labors. That we are found worthy in His sight. This is the result of number 3.

I believe that most of our idolatry, addictiveness, manipulative behavior, depression, etc. results largely from not knowing or embracing some marvelous things Jesus promised to those who love Him (which I am almost ready to share).

But first, take stock of those four. What did you grow up believing about God and about yourself in these regards? For whatever brokenness lingers, I have discovered a great promise from Jesus in the apostle John's account of Jesus' life. Jesus said this:

Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. (Jn 14:23)

I believe Jesus, in this one sentence, meets all four of the needs listed above.

Firstly, the Father's presence is promised to us when Jesus says "we will come to him and make our home with him." If He is coming to us, and not only that, but making His *home* with us, we have the promise of God's continual presence. He is at home with us, and we with Him. That is a marvelous promise!

Secondly, the Father's love is promised to us plainly--"my Father will love him". And as stated already, we have this promise not to be loved merely in an abstract or inaccessible way, but that God loves us greatly enough to build His home with us.

Thirdly is the issue of being fruitful, and fourthly is the need to be commended by God. These two go together. They may seem like more of a stretch to pull from this passage, but I believe it is both explicit and implicit from John 14:23 that Jesus promises (to those who love Him) fruitfulness and commendation by God. Explicitly, we have the first part of Jesus' statement: If anyone loves me, he will keep my word. What better measure of fruitfulness is there, than keeping Jesus' word? Granted, this is different. The first two were about God doing things, and this is about us doing something. Well, that's the whole point--we have a desire to be fruitful, and Jesus promises us that if we love Him, we will be. Implicitly, what could be more of a sign of God's confidence in us to be fruitful than that He would make His home with us? In addition, consider the great closeness with God that Jesus says we will experience ("we will make our home with him"), and remember that Jesus elsewhere tells us closeness with Him is the only path to true fruitfulness and productivity - I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (Jn 15:5)

So read this again, soak it in and delight in it - “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him."

Notes from Ephesians, 11/14/11

I read through Ephesians (all 6 chapters) this morning on the train. Here is what I jotted down once I got to work:

-Do not grieve the Holy Spirit with an unforgiving heart and an angry heart, but let my being forgiven by the Lord extend through my forgiving others.

-The sexually immoral and the covetous have no place in the kingdom of God.

Wisdom

Wisdom is not the same thing as knowledge. Wisdom is not being well-read, being intellectual, being intelligent. Wisdom is not these things. Wisdom is often drawn to these things, but never to merely stop there--wisdom journeys eagerly through these things, and then takes the next step of refining--separating empty rhetoric from truth, the coherent from the illogical, and the timeless from the timely.

Observations from Ephesians 1:15-21

I just spent some time wrestling through Paul's prayer in Ephesians 1:15-21. It's all one sentence, in case you didn't know. That's part of why there was mental wrestling required. Here is the text:

15For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love[a] toward all the saints, 16I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

1. Even Christians are in need of a spiritual awakening that only God can perform.   Even Christians known for their faith and love, as is the case with the Ephesian (or Laodicean) Christians, are in need of continual and greater work in the "eyes of their hearts". It's not just a believer's initial conversion that requires a work of God upon the heart. The full potential of the Christian life cannot be reached without these eye-opening works of God. Oh my, we need more than 5 easy steps or good advice, much less "life coaching". We continually need grace from the living God on our dead hearts. Even our hearts made alive are "dead" compared to what they could be...always pray for greater awareness of God and His glory and the riches of your inheritance.

2. The power of God in our lives is the same power as that raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him above all created things in heaven and on earth. This is an unbreakable power. This is an unbeatable power. So who are we to drag our feet and wallow in our sins and our hurts in place of a bold and confident Christian life? I am not suggesting that there is no place to grieve, or that God does not allow us to live with continual pain in order to direct us continually to Him. I believe firmly in both of those things. Rather I am saying that grief is no reason to stop having a boldness of faith, or having a confidence that faithfulness to God will result in joy for ourselves and for those around us, forever.

3. Spiritual growth in people we know is reason for continued prayer for them, not a stoppage in prayer. It does affect the way we pray for them, however. But seeing the change and transformation in them encourages and excites us (doesn't it?) and inspires us to pray for more of that.

4. I cannot do justice to this text. I hope you'll spend more time with it than this blog about it.

To marry or not to marry

I've listened several times to Paul Washer explaining what he says to a young man who thinks he's found a young woman he wants to marry. He asks the young man why he wants to marry the girl, and the young man will list off all of the girl's great qualities--she's beautiful, I love being around her, etc. And then he will rephrase it back to the young man: "So what you are telling me is, you want to marry this girl because she meets all of your fleshly desires." I always had mixed feelings when I listened to him describe this, because on the one hand, yes, in marriage we seek not our own good but the good of our spouse and to exalt Christ and the Gospel through our marriage. But on the other hand, aren't there going to be some characteristics about your mate that draw you to them, causing you to choose them over everybody else?

Likewise, in answering the question "why do you want to get married" (just in general, not to a specific person) it may seem quite natural to describe a happier, more desirable state. I was asked this question by a friend and answered (in more specific details) that I seem to be more functional when there is a woman in my life, and that I've got a strong desire for the companionship and the intimacy that come only in marriage. In short he said that my answer(s) had one common thread: they were all about me. Me, me, me. And I knew he was right, but at the time, still wasn't sure it was a fair question--after all, it is not good for the man to be alone (Gen 2:18), and Paul says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. So was I right that the question was unfair? No. I was wrong. Yes, these factors are one aspect of the decision, but they are not the only aspect of the decision between marrying and staying single.

There's a girl I've been talking to, and we like each other. It's gotten me thinking. I'm so used to being on my own. Since 2005 I've lived in Maryland, North Carolina, Arizona, Long Island, Manhattan, and Queens. And some of those moves were made on a whim--I chose my college in Maryland after seeing it (and no other colleges), I applied for my internship in Arizona as a real long-shot (I thought), and I chose my second college quite suddenly because I had 2 close friends there. And each time, based on these decisions made on a whim, I have packed up my life and started some place new as if it was nothing. So I was thinking about how, if I ended up getting married, that changes everything. I would not be the only one affected by my actions anymore (not that that is ever the case). My choice of jobs, ministries, apartments, homes, gyms, groceries, toilet paper and Dan Marino figurines would now be affecting the life of some beloved daughter of God, and our 2.5 children, and the kingdom, and the world.

And so what every Christian person has to consider, and what I think Paul Washer and my friend were getting at, is this: As Christians, our lives are not primarily for enjoying good things, but for enjoying God Himself, and putting Christ on display--and the decision to marry or stay single will have a huge impact for the rest of our lives with regards to how we conceive of that. So here are two videos of John Piper:

I'm not a merman, but I am a mere man.

What Goes Through My Head Before a Nap:


"I hate you all! Leave me alone! I'm sick of traveling, and taking trains. I just want to sleep! I don't care anymore!"

The end.

I wonder...

if our descriptions of the godly person we'd like to meet and be with are actually a spiritualized way of saying we don't want to bear with somebody's weaknesses and sins.

Goals moving forward

I'm about to finally move back to New York. Some things are up in the air. However, these are the simple goals I have.

-Get everything sorted out for grad school; the G.R.E. exam and my Biblical Greek studies.
-Seek out mentors who are much further down the full-time ministry path.
-Seek out mentors and other sources of wisdom regarding both marriage and what a healthy courtship/relationship would look like.
-No dating, through the entire summer.

Everything Runs on Love

Everything runs on love. Love exists eternally between the three Persons of the Godhead and it is the core of what He has made here on the earth.

This love appears in many manifestations; friendship, romance, parenthood, even admiration. And everything runs on love. In our fallen world, the proof is this: watch what happens when love is disrupted. See what happens to children who are without assurance that daddy loves mommy. See that even after 40 years of marriage the husband hates the mention of the wife's old boyfriend. See the pain of the person cheated on. See the deep hurts of those without friends. Disrupt the love and you disrupt the very soul of a person--because everything runs on love. Without love, one doubts whether he or she can continue on in life--or whether they even should.

Despite the sad situation it should be a comfort to know this: That the Object of the greatest love we can experience is also the most perfect of any of the objects of our love--that our most important love relationship is with One who can be utterly trusted, has no wayward past, and has no failings ever, in His love.

In Him, healing happens, and all of the other loves experience restoration. But only in the heart that holds Him as the chief love.

Psalm 46:10

http://realityofchrist.blogspot.com/2010/03/entry-15-psalm-4610.html

Things you must get past...

...in order to be maritally capable. A better title might be, "things I must get past", or "things I have gotten/am getting past". Now this is primarily directed toward other single men like myself who, though capable of attracting the ladies, have held off on really truly pursuing somebody as a marriage partner--out of immaturity. But I suppose it can apply just as much to any girls reading. I am grateful to some preachers who, though I have not met most of them, became mentors to me in this area through their sermons, especially their sermons on marriage, dating, singleness, etc. Those are Paul Washer (see especially "Marriage and the Gospel"), Matt Chandler (especially "Sanctification and Marriage"), and JR Vassar ("Intentional Singleness"). They all deal a lot with young men and are versed in directly confronting their immaturity. They confronted mine. Things are happening.

You must get past all the sensual allurements of the foreign exchange student, the super-energetic hottie whom everybody wants (though she is no less godly than the less-energetic ones), desires for physical perfection (as if you were physically perfect), and you must get past an excessive desire for challenge. This is a cluster of fleshly desire that has kept many a man holding out for the "ultimate". (It turns out God is the ultimate, not some woman!)

I remember watching the movie Tombstone, about a year ago. I'm talking about the one with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp meets this gorgeous woman who sings. And she's quite capable in the area of flirting. In one gripping (for me, at least) scene the two of them (oh, and by the way, Wyatt Earp is married, albeit to a cray lady) are on their horses, and Wyatt (played by Kurt...hmm...) chases her. She says somethng about her horse being in heat, too. I suppose the whole thing is more intentionally provocative than I realized. But it impacted me, and confirmed in my mind that I needed to go out and find that "ultimate" woman and chase her down on my horse and marry her (at that point I was sure she would be found in Arizona, both the setting of the movie and the place I would be living soon). I could only have one wife (sure, Kurt Russell gets two, but I love Jesus). So I needed to pursue the ultimate--even if that meant waiting until I was in the ideal situation for me to do so...perhaps established in some ministry, at a church where I fit in well, giving me all the leverage of confidence and expression necessary. This could take years--but anything for that brilliant, curvaceous, blonde, no wait brunette, no wait blonde, no wait I can't even decide, godly, faithful, loving woman who had somehow also, like me, remained single. Oh, and did I mention the challenge? In the past when a girl I liked suddenly liked me back, and it became obvious, I usually got a little freaked out, and lost interest, and felt guilty about the whole thing, and stopped pursuing. This is because I wanted the "ultimate"--and surely the "ultimate" could not be that easy.

The desire to pursue the ultimate is not from Satan, or our flesh, or our culture. The desire to pursue the ultimate is from God Himself. And God Himself IS the ultimate. This is where I was going wrong. It was all based on self-love and selfishness. I wanted to pursue ultimate pleasure for myself, in things, rather than pursuing ultimate pleasure for myself, mankind, and God through pursuing and enjoying God as supremely valuable over all things. And should I spend my days going home to a supermodel when the world around is perishing? Should I dream of a flawed relationship with a sinful person for a lifetime instead of dreaming of the wonders of eternity and pursuing them? Does that make any sense?

Pursue the true Ultimate and stop trying to find it in a woman (or a man). You will be both healthier and more fit for marriage.

Every Thought Captive

These are wrong thoughts of mine that must be taken captive. I'm writing it here for repeated access. I don't assume that many read this, even out of the 9 people subscribed to this blog. But even if people did read it, I think it may be beneficial.

1) Longings for a "nice life". God does not call us to a nice life. He calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross if we are to follow Him--not optional! But I have desires for a well-paying, nice and neat ministry position to start after my internship ends. How hollow! True Gospel ministry by nature is not nice and neat anyway. If it is, it's probably more of a plasticy Gospel ministry replica. I visited California this weekend, and southern California is gorgeous in case you did not know. And I thought how nice it would be to be hired out there. Selfishly.

2) My romantic thoughts. The problem with them is that I fail to keep in mind that the only type of woman I have any business with is one in whom God has so worked that she does not need a nice or large house but rather she is willing to sacrifice a nice car and a big ring and a fancy home and exotic European vacations because her true longings are for God and for the benefit of His Church.

Matthew 19:30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
Romans 12:16 Associate with the lowly
Matthew 13:44-46 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Some beliefs regarding the glory of God

1. The glory (or splendor, or majesty, or awesomeness) of God is infinite. For us as humans this means that God is the perpetual novelty because the wonders of His glory are inexaustable.

2. God is more important than us. He is infinite. All that exists depends on Him.

3. God has been infinitely joyful in the Trinity for all time.

4. All of the true Christian experience is centered on the glory of God. God's acts of salvation, including predestination, are "to the praise of His glory" (see Ephesians 1:5-14) and the process of sanctification is inspired by, powered by, and evidenced by the glory of God (see 2 Cor. 3:18). Thus we can say that "mundane" Christian experience is no Christian experience at all--not because we are "revolutionaries" but because of the ever-present and powerful God in all His glory and splendor and beauty and majesty.

5. God is chiefly concerned about being glorified. This is offensive to many but we must remember that (A) pride is an over-estimation of one's value, which is impossible for God who is infinitely valuable and therefore God's glorifying of Himself is always accurate and true; (B) in His concern for being glorified God has all peoples in mind; if He is glorified, they may know Him, and finally have true joy as they were created to enjoy, and (C) the most important thing any created thing can do is to attest to God's glory.

6. To "glorify God" does not mean that we make Him look better than He is (which is impossible and a blasphemous thought) but rather that we simply help people see Him for who He is. We "magnify" Him more like a telescope and not like a microscope.