What Goes Through My Head Before a Nap:
"I hate you all! Leave me alone! I'm sick of traveling, and taking trains. I just want to sleep! I don't care anymore!"
The end.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I wonder...
if our descriptions of the godly person we'd like to meet and be with are actually a spiritualized way of saying we don't want to bear with somebody's weaknesses and sins.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Goals moving forward
I'm about to finally move back to New York. Some things are up in the air. However, these are the simple goals I have.
-Get everything sorted out for grad school; the G.R.E. exam and my Biblical Greek studies.
-Seek out mentors who are much further down the full-time ministry path.
-Seek out mentors and other sources of wisdom regarding both marriage and what a healthy courtship/relationship would look like.
-No dating, through the entire summer.
-Get everything sorted out for grad school; the G.R.E. exam and my Biblical Greek studies.
-Seek out mentors who are much further down the full-time ministry path.
-Seek out mentors and other sources of wisdom regarding both marriage and what a healthy courtship/relationship would look like.
-No dating, through the entire summer.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Everything Runs on Love
Everything runs on love. Love exists eternally between the three Persons of the Godhead and it is the core of what He has made here on the earth.
This love appears in many manifestations; friendship, romance, parenthood, even admiration. And everything runs on love. In our fallen world, the proof is this: watch what happens when love is disrupted. See what happens to children who are without assurance that daddy loves mommy. See that even after 40 years of marriage the husband hates the mention of the wife's old boyfriend. See the pain of the person cheated on. See the deep hurts of those without friends. Disrupt the love and you disrupt the very soul of a person--because everything runs on love. Without love, one doubts whether he or she can continue on in life--or whether they even should.
Despite the sad situation it should be a comfort to know this: That the Object of the greatest love we can experience is also the most perfect of any of the objects of our love--that our most important love relationship is with One who can be utterly trusted, has no wayward past, and has no failings ever, in His love.
In Him, healing happens, and all of the other loves experience restoration. But only in the heart that holds Him as the chief love.
This love appears in many manifestations; friendship, romance, parenthood, even admiration. And everything runs on love. In our fallen world, the proof is this: watch what happens when love is disrupted. See what happens to children who are without assurance that daddy loves mommy. See that even after 40 years of marriage the husband hates the mention of the wife's old boyfriend. See the pain of the person cheated on. See the deep hurts of those without friends. Disrupt the love and you disrupt the very soul of a person--because everything runs on love. Without love, one doubts whether he or she can continue on in life--or whether they even should.
Despite the sad situation it should be a comfort to know this: That the Object of the greatest love we can experience is also the most perfect of any of the objects of our love--that our most important love relationship is with One who can be utterly trusted, has no wayward past, and has no failings ever, in His love.
In Him, healing happens, and all of the other loves experience restoration. But only in the heart that holds Him as the chief love.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Things you must get past...
...in order to be maritally capable. A better title might be, "things I must get past", or "things I have gotten/am getting past". Now this is primarily directed toward other single men like myself who, though capable of attracting the ladies, have held off on really truly pursuing somebody as a marriage partner--out of immaturity. But I suppose it can apply just as much to any girls reading. I am grateful to some preachers who, though I have not met most of them, became mentors to me in this area through their sermons, especially their sermons on marriage, dating, singleness, etc. Those are Paul Washer (see especially "Marriage and the Gospel"), Matt Chandler (especially "Sanctification and Marriage"), and JR Vassar ("Intentional Singleness"). They all deal a lot with young men and are versed in directly confronting their immaturity. They confronted mine. Things are happening.
You must get past all the sensual allurements of the foreign exchange student, the super-energetic hottie whom everybody wants (though she is no less godly than the less-energetic ones), desires for physical perfection (as if you were physically perfect), and you must get past an excessive desire for challenge. This is a cluster of fleshly desire that has kept many a man holding out for the "ultimate". (It turns out God is the ultimate, not some woman!)
I remember watching the movie Tombstone, about a year ago. I'm talking about the one with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp meets this gorgeous woman who sings. And she's quite capable in the area of flirting. In one gripping (for me, at least) scene the two of them (oh, and by the way, Wyatt Earp is married, albeit to a cray lady) are on their horses, and Wyatt (played by Kurt...hmm...) chases her. She says somethng about her horse being in heat, too. I suppose the whole thing is more intentionally provocative than I realized. But it impacted me, and confirmed in my mind that I needed to go out and find that "ultimate" woman and chase her down on my horse and marry her (at that point I was sure she would be found in Arizona, both the setting of the movie and the place I would be living soon). I could only have one wife (sure, Kurt Russell gets two, but I love Jesus). So I needed to pursue the ultimate--even if that meant waiting until I was in the ideal situation for me to do so...perhaps established in some ministry, at a church where I fit in well, giving me all the leverage of confidence and expression necessary. This could take years--but anything for that brilliant, curvaceous, blonde, no wait brunette, no wait blonde, no wait I can't even decide, godly, faithful, loving woman who had somehow also, like me, remained single. Oh, and did I mention the challenge? In the past when a girl I liked suddenly liked me back, and it became obvious, I usually got a little freaked out, and lost interest, and felt guilty about the whole thing, and stopped pursuing. This is because I wanted the "ultimate"--and surely the "ultimate" could not be that easy.
The desire to pursue the ultimate is not from Satan, or our flesh, or our culture. The desire to pursue the ultimate is from God Himself. And God Himself IS the ultimate. This is where I was going wrong. It was all based on self-love and selfishness. I wanted to pursue ultimate pleasure for myself, in things, rather than pursuing ultimate pleasure for myself, mankind, and God through pursuing and enjoying God as supremely valuable over all things. And should I spend my days going home to a supermodel when the world around is perishing? Should I dream of a flawed relationship with a sinful person for a lifetime instead of dreaming of the wonders of eternity and pursuing them? Does that make any sense?
Pursue the true Ultimate and stop trying to find it in a woman (or a man). You will be both healthier and more fit for marriage.
You must get past all the sensual allurements of the foreign exchange student, the super-energetic hottie whom everybody wants (though she is no less godly than the less-energetic ones), desires for physical perfection (as if you were physically perfect), and you must get past an excessive desire for challenge. This is a cluster of fleshly desire that has kept many a man holding out for the "ultimate". (It turns out God is the ultimate, not some woman!)
I remember watching the movie Tombstone, about a year ago. I'm talking about the one with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp meets this gorgeous woman who sings. And she's quite capable in the area of flirting. In one gripping (for me, at least) scene the two of them (oh, and by the way, Wyatt Earp is married, albeit to a cray lady) are on their horses, and Wyatt (played by Kurt...hmm...) chases her. She says somethng about her horse being in heat, too. I suppose the whole thing is more intentionally provocative than I realized. But it impacted me, and confirmed in my mind that I needed to go out and find that "ultimate" woman and chase her down on my horse and marry her (at that point I was sure she would be found in Arizona, both the setting of the movie and the place I would be living soon). I could only have one wife (sure, Kurt Russell gets two, but I love Jesus). So I needed to pursue the ultimate--even if that meant waiting until I was in the ideal situation for me to do so...perhaps established in some ministry, at a church where I fit in well, giving me all the leverage of confidence and expression necessary. This could take years--but anything for that brilliant, curvaceous, blonde, no wait brunette, no wait blonde, no wait I can't even decide, godly, faithful, loving woman who had somehow also, like me, remained single. Oh, and did I mention the challenge? In the past when a girl I liked suddenly liked me back, and it became obvious, I usually got a little freaked out, and lost interest, and felt guilty about the whole thing, and stopped pursuing. This is because I wanted the "ultimate"--and surely the "ultimate" could not be that easy.
The desire to pursue the ultimate is not from Satan, or our flesh, or our culture. The desire to pursue the ultimate is from God Himself. And God Himself IS the ultimate. This is where I was going wrong. It was all based on self-love and selfishness. I wanted to pursue ultimate pleasure for myself, in things, rather than pursuing ultimate pleasure for myself, mankind, and God through pursuing and enjoying God as supremely valuable over all things. And should I spend my days going home to a supermodel when the world around is perishing? Should I dream of a flawed relationship with a sinful person for a lifetime instead of dreaming of the wonders of eternity and pursuing them? Does that make any sense?
Pursue the true Ultimate and stop trying to find it in a woman (or a man). You will be both healthier and more fit for marriage.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Every Thought Captive
These are wrong thoughts of mine that must be taken captive. I'm writing it here for repeated access. I don't assume that many read this, even out of the 9 people subscribed to this blog. But even if people did read it, I think it may be beneficial.
1) Longings for a "nice life". God does not call us to a nice life. He calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross if we are to follow Him--not optional! But I have desires for a well-paying, nice and neat ministry position to start after my internship ends. How hollow! True Gospel ministry by nature is not nice and neat anyway. If it is, it's probably more of a plasticy Gospel ministry replica. I visited California this weekend, and southern California is gorgeous in case you did not know. And I thought how nice it would be to be hired out there. Selfishly.
2) My romantic thoughts. The problem with them is that I fail to keep in mind that the only type of woman I have any business with is one in whom God has so worked that she does not need a nice or large house but rather she is willing to sacrifice a nice car and a big ring and a fancy home and exotic European vacations because her true longings are for God and for the benefit of His Church.
Matthew 19:30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
Romans 12:16 Associate with the lowly
Matthew 13:44-46 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
1) Longings for a "nice life". God does not call us to a nice life. He calls us to deny ourselves and take up our cross if we are to follow Him--not optional! But I have desires for a well-paying, nice and neat ministry position to start after my internship ends. How hollow! True Gospel ministry by nature is not nice and neat anyway. If it is, it's probably more of a plasticy Gospel ministry replica. I visited California this weekend, and southern California is gorgeous in case you did not know. And I thought how nice it would be to be hired out there. Selfishly.
2) My romantic thoughts. The problem with them is that I fail to keep in mind that the only type of woman I have any business with is one in whom God has so worked that she does not need a nice or large house but rather she is willing to sacrifice a nice car and a big ring and a fancy home and exotic European vacations because her true longings are for God and for the benefit of His Church.
Matthew 19:30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
Romans 12:16 Associate with the lowly
Matthew 13:44-46 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.