My life as an INTP

A post like this seems long overdue. Some may say I am "obsessed" with the Myers-Briggs personality types, but I'm no more obsessed with this, than anything else that grabs my attention. I'll provide a link at the bottom (if I remember) to a site where you can take the test for free.

INTP stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. This means simply that I am an introvert who takes in information my intuition, makes decisions based on logic rather than feelings, and am an improviser by nature. Here's a photo of me improvising from back in December 2008:

www.personalitypage.com refers to INTP's as "The Thinkers" and another website that I cannot remember used the title "The Architects". Here are some quotes about INTP's (the bold introductions are mine):

Crazy about knowledge: They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

Walking contradiction: INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

Oddball geniuses: The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP. (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP.html)

In relationships: Although they choose to keep things straight-forward in their relationships, this does not mean that the INTP is lacking in depth of feeling or passion. The INTP is very creative person, who has vivid imaginations. They can be very excitable and passionate about their love relationships. Sometimes, they have a problem reconciling the exciting visions of their internal worlds with the actuality of their external circumstances. http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTP_rel.html

I've taken a major interest in this for years now. I can often guess people's MBTI after getting to know them a little while--that and their birth order. While I believe a Christian's identity is found in their belonging to Christ, I do find tests like these to be useful, as a sort of "secondary clarifier". Being somebody who has "unconventional thought patterns" provides a lot of moments of misunderstanding, some of them very frustrating--which I admit pulls me back towards *this* stuff, trying to better understand myself and others.

And that's not a cowardly retreat from life--that's simply how an INTP relates to the world. 

Now to get on with it, here is a series of observations:

1. If God is infinite in all of His attributes, and we as humans are created in His image, and different genders (male and female) display different *aspects* of the image of God, it seems logical to further suggest that this is true not only of genders, but to at least some extent also of personality types--that different personalities display certain attributes of God in higher degrees.

2. If different personalities display different attributes of God in higher degrees, we should value and respect others for their uniqueness, because so long as they are in submission to God and obedience to Scripture, they are displaying something sacred--the image of God--in the way they think, feel, make decisions, socialize, plan, celebrate, and grieve. It's important to remember this when somebody is very different from us.

3. My greatest aspirations are not quantifiable. There's a lot of stuff I want to do--but I don't really want to "be" anything. I long to teach and preach, not for recognition but because of the truths that precede me, and my desire that those truths be known more widely, and more clearly. As that same page explains:

Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

That's me. I once told a pastor I was more interested in preaching than in some of the other pastoral responsibilities. He misunderstood me--he thought, that I felt, that I was a good "communicator". What that makes me picture is a slick young guy in a headset who walks on the stage with his Bible and says to himself, "I GOT this". Now, I am a pretty fair judge of my own strengths and weaknesses, and anybody who's heard me preach would generally agree that I am a very effective communicator. But I am not motivated by a desire to "be" that--I am motivated by the Gospel itself, and by the words of Scripture, and a conviction that those words matter greatly. Church programs inspire me about as much as government programs inspire Ron Paul. Big productions to me are "big compensation" for the Holy Spirit not moving--a man-made replacement that creates church busy-ness in the place of wild, untamed transformation. Francis Chan's teaching on this resonates with me a lot.

4. One lovely habit of mine is to isolate myself and then say, "Where'd everybody go?" As time goes on I am learning to fight this by being disciplined in my handful of close friendships...making sure we're staying in touch and so on. Most of my regrets have to do with not maximizing past relationships...like being more of a mentor to younger students when I was an upperclassman at MACU, etc.

5. My unique thought patterns have been a source of bewilderment, aggravation, and inspiration to others. This is not at all done on purpose--as some studies of the brain can tell you, I'm literally wired this way--the American Journal of Psychology published a a study of brain scans revealing different chemistry and bloodflow in introverts and extraverts, for example.

8 Practical Ways a Young Man Can Embrace Biblical Manhood

These will be short and to-the-point. I wish somebody had explicitly directed me this way when I was a new Christian as age 16-17-18. These are adapted from a discussion I led at camp last summer.

1. Be industrious. Do your best to keep a neat room (not my strong suit by any stretch of the imagination). Keep up with your chores around the house. Get the best grades you can (within reason--don't make an idol out of grades), perhaps even learn a trade (lots of high schools offer programs to learn a trade). Or take your skill/passion and start being really dedicated and disciplined to it--be it music, painting, working with wood, writing, history, etc. This is actually one of the ways you should channel the sexual energy God has placed in you--if you want to be a husband, you're going to have to provide financially, which means you're going to have to do something people will pay you to do.

2. Get a holy ambition. Give your heart solely to the Lord and see what burden He places on you for the benefit of His glory, and His church. Figure out why you are on this planet! Take a nice, long, LONG walk if you have to. Or crack open a notebook and start writing. This is not necessarily about a career--though it will definitely affect your career, and it may lead you to a specific career, such as medicine, preaching, counseling, etc.

3. Seek mentors. Seek out godly men from your church or elsewhere--Christian men who can assist you in your walk with the Lord. I have a few. Some simply became that, and some I specifically asked for mentoring.

4. Be pure in your relationships with girls. So easy to type out, but a huge challenge to live out! Not sure what this will mean? Perhaps you should talk to your mentor (see #3). Also you should really listen to this message here http://media.sermonindex.net/23/SID23114.mp3 it's way better than this little post of mine. It's from Paul Washer, and it's called "A Young Man's Attitude Towards Women". So important. Another subject I wish I had been given explicit advice on when I was younger.

5. Cultivate an attraction to genuine womanhood. Not sure what genuine womanhood is? Glad you asked. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon focuses on this in chapter 31--he tells his son what kind of woman to look for. So crack open Proverbs 31 and think about the women you've known who have exemplified these qualities. Admire these qualities more than physical beauty. It will take discipline--be careful what you put before your eyes.

6. Submit to authority.

7. Learn the Bible. Spend lots of time in it! Have a hunger for it. Ask God for a hunger for it.

8. Be a man of prayer. I'm preaching to myself here...but one thing I have found helpful is keeping a list of people and situations requiring prayer. It's a good way to help me spend more time with the Lord in prayer, and lift up peoples' burdens.

A great promise from Jesus

Being a keen observer of human nature, and having read on this particular subject, and being in the midst of my own continual struggle in this matter, I can pinpoint four of the key needs men have, in order to be properly strengthened and/or healed. I am talking about spiritual needs, toward God. In an ideal home situation, the boy grows up experiencing these modeled in his own family, especially by his father. In the worst case scenario, the boy grows up learning the *opposite* of these (My dad doesn't enjoy quality time with me, I am not loved, I am not accepted, I can't do anything right, etc.) and coming to Christ he has to relearn the truth about these directly from his heavenly Father, though hopefully with some of this made manifest by older men in his church family. But it should also be said that even growing up in a godly home, there is always some brokenness. Anyway, here are the four needs:

1. The Father's presence. This one is upsetting for me as I think back on a mostly great Biblical education that did, on the other hand, often de-emphasize (and sometimes even demonize) the reality of the *experienced* presence of God. Yet this is a basic need. Those who ignore it only damage themselves and those around them, and have perhaps trained themselves to ignore a major theme of the Bible as they do their daily reading. Who wouldn't want to experience the presence of God!?
2. The Father's love. That is, we were created to be *delighted in* by God; to know we bring Him joy, to know He would want to spend time with us, to know that we matter to Him.
3. To be fruitful. All men desire to be productive, which is no surprise, as this was also a creation mandate.
4. The Father's commendation. This is very important also--that God not only delights in us, but also in our labors. That we are found worthy in His sight. This is the result of number 3.

I believe that most of our idolatry, addictiveness, manipulative behavior, depression, etc. results largely from not knowing or embracing some marvelous things Jesus promised to those who love Him (which I am almost ready to share).

But first, take stock of those four. What did you grow up believing about God and about yourself in these regards? For whatever brokenness lingers, I have discovered a great promise from Jesus in the apostle John's account of Jesus' life. Jesus said this:

Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. (Jn 14:23)

I believe Jesus, in this one sentence, meets all four of the needs listed above.

Firstly, the Father's presence is promised to us when Jesus says "we will come to him and make our home with him." If He is coming to us, and not only that, but making His *home* with us, we have the promise of God's continual presence. He is at home with us, and we with Him. That is a marvelous promise!

Secondly, the Father's love is promised to us plainly--"my Father will love him". And as stated already, we have this promise not to be loved merely in an abstract or inaccessible way, but that God loves us greatly enough to build His home with us.

Thirdly is the issue of being fruitful, and fourthly is the need to be commended by God. These two go together. They may seem like more of a stretch to pull from this passage, but I believe it is both explicit and implicit from John 14:23 that Jesus promises (to those who love Him) fruitfulness and commendation by God. Explicitly, we have the first part of Jesus' statement: If anyone loves me, he will keep my word. What better measure of fruitfulness is there, than keeping Jesus' word? Granted, this is different. The first two were about God doing things, and this is about us doing something. Well, that's the whole point--we have a desire to be fruitful, and Jesus promises us that if we love Him, we will be. Implicitly, what could be more of a sign of God's confidence in us to be fruitful than that He would make His home with us? In addition, consider the great closeness with God that Jesus says we will experience ("we will make our home with him"), and remember that Jesus elsewhere tells us closeness with Him is the only path to true fruitfulness and productivity - I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (Jn 15:5)

So read this again, soak it in and delight in it - “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him."

Notes from Ephesians, 11/14/11

I read through Ephesians (all 6 chapters) this morning on the train. Here is what I jotted down once I got to work:

-Do not grieve the Holy Spirit with an unforgiving heart and an angry heart, but let my being forgiven by the Lord extend through my forgiving others.

-The sexually immoral and the covetous have no place in the kingdom of God.

Wisdom

Wisdom is not the same thing as knowledge. Wisdom is not being well-read, being intellectual, being intelligent. Wisdom is not these things. Wisdom is often drawn to these things, but never to merely stop there--wisdom journeys eagerly through these things, and then takes the next step of refining--separating empty rhetoric from truth, the coherent from the illogical, and the timeless from the timely.

Observations from Ephesians 1:15-21

I just spent some time wrestling through Paul's prayer in Ephesians 1:15-21. It's all one sentence, in case you didn't know. That's part of why there was mental wrestling required. Here is the text:

15For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love[a] toward all the saints, 16I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

1. Even Christians are in need of a spiritual awakening that only God can perform.   Even Christians known for their faith and love, as is the case with the Ephesian (or Laodicean) Christians, are in need of continual and greater work in the "eyes of their hearts". It's not just a believer's initial conversion that requires a work of God upon the heart. The full potential of the Christian life cannot be reached without these eye-opening works of God. Oh my, we need more than 5 easy steps or good advice, much less "life coaching". We continually need grace from the living God on our dead hearts. Even our hearts made alive are "dead" compared to what they could be...always pray for greater awareness of God and His glory and the riches of your inheritance.

2. The power of God in our lives is the same power as that raised Jesus from the dead and seated Him above all created things in heaven and on earth. This is an unbreakable power. This is an unbeatable power. So who are we to drag our feet and wallow in our sins and our hurts in place of a bold and confident Christian life? I am not suggesting that there is no place to grieve, or that God does not allow us to live with continual pain in order to direct us continually to Him. I believe firmly in both of those things. Rather I am saying that grief is no reason to stop having a boldness of faith, or having a confidence that faithfulness to God will result in joy for ourselves and for those around us, forever.

3. Spiritual growth in people we know is reason for continued prayer for them, not a stoppage in prayer. It does affect the way we pray for them, however. But seeing the change and transformation in them encourages and excites us (doesn't it?) and inspires us to pray for more of that.

4. I cannot do justice to this text. I hope you'll spend more time with it than this blog about it.

To marry or not to marry

I've listened several times to Paul Washer explaining what he says to a young man who thinks he's found a young woman he wants to marry. He asks the young man why he wants to marry the girl, and the young man will list off all of the girl's great qualities--she's beautiful, I love being around her, etc. And then he will rephrase it back to the young man: "So what you are telling me is, you want to marry this girl because she meets all of your fleshly desires." I always had mixed feelings when I listened to him describe this, because on the one hand, yes, in marriage we seek not our own good but the good of our spouse and to exalt Christ and the Gospel through our marriage. But on the other hand, aren't there going to be some characteristics about your mate that draw you to them, causing you to choose them over everybody else?

Likewise, in answering the question "why do you want to get married" (just in general, not to a specific person) it may seem quite natural to describe a happier, more desirable state. I was asked this question by a friend and answered (in more specific details) that I seem to be more functional when there is a woman in my life, and that I've got a strong desire for the companionship and the intimacy that come only in marriage. In short he said that my answer(s) had one common thread: they were all about me. Me, me, me. And I knew he was right, but at the time, still wasn't sure it was a fair question--after all, it is not good for the man to be alone (Gen 2:18), and Paul says that it is better to marry than to burn with passion. So was I right that the question was unfair? No. I was wrong. Yes, these factors are one aspect of the decision, but they are not the only aspect of the decision between marrying and staying single.

There's a girl I've been talking to, and we like each other. It's gotten me thinking. I'm so used to being on my own. Since 2005 I've lived in Maryland, North Carolina, Arizona, Long Island, Manhattan, and Queens. And some of those moves were made on a whim--I chose my college in Maryland after seeing it (and no other colleges), I applied for my internship in Arizona as a real long-shot (I thought), and I chose my second college quite suddenly because I had 2 close friends there. And each time, based on these decisions made on a whim, I have packed up my life and started some place new as if it was nothing. So I was thinking about how, if I ended up getting married, that changes everything. I would not be the only one affected by my actions anymore (not that that is ever the case). My choice of jobs, ministries, apartments, homes, gyms, groceries, toilet paper and Dan Marino figurines would now be affecting the life of some beloved daughter of God, and our 2.5 children, and the kingdom, and the world.

And so what every Christian person has to consider, and what I think Paul Washer and my friend were getting at, is this: As Christians, our lives are not primarily for enjoying good things, but for enjoying God Himself, and putting Christ on display--and the decision to marry or stay single will have a huge impact for the rest of our lives with regards to how we conceive of that. So here are two videos of John Piper: